Viewing entries tagged
Betrayal

Play In The Rain

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Play In The Rain

Tonight I rode my bike to the grocery store.

I carried the cute wicker basket in to go get a couple of things.

I noticed the clouds building in the South but went into the store anyway.

I came out with my things, put the basket back on my bike and undid the lock.

The clouds were above my head and weighted heavy with water.

I mounted my seafoam green cruiser and it began to sprinkle.

As I continued down the path the clouds opened up and a beautiful heavy summer rain poured on me all the way home.

I started to cry tears that matched the droplets of rain.

In the rain your tears are hidden.

I wasn't crying because it was raining on me like a bad luck thing.

I was crying because I felt Gods love pouring on me!

The rain was cool & refreshing!

I hadn't played in the rain in years!

And tonight I was surprised with His love pouring down on me and I got to delight in the rain!

In the next couple of days we are supposed to get rain.

I suggest you go play in it.

Dance

Sing

Laugh

Cry

Jump in the puddles

Play in the rain.

 

I wrote this June 16, 2014. Close to the same evening that I received news that changed the course of my life. God's goodness never wavered and He still pours His love on me and I still play in the rain! 

Always play in the rain!  

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Priceless

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Priceless

She is priceless but not a commodity.

She is valuable but not for sale.

The price you pay her for her body to please your desires and lusts does not disqualify her from the knowledge of who she is. The drugs she takes to numb her body from feeling does not kill her heart or her soul. The alcohol she drinks to forget does not mean she is less than the woman who has a safe life.

She is priceless.

She is valuable.

She is a daughter.

She is alone. Her soul hollowed out by the cruelty of man to satisfy his thirsty empty soul.

Taken so young by the ones who were supposed to care for her.

Purity robbed.

Her dreams twisted into someone else’s wants and desires.

Pretty little girl. Innocent. Wide eyed and curious. Clouded by pain and fear that froze her heart. She stops seeing the colors. She stops feeling or even knowing what a safe touch is.

She’s gone.

Checked out.

Numb.

Yet in the depths of her heart there is a memory of hope.

She cries out in a mad longing that almost crushes her heart under the weight of her fear and sadness.

She knows.

But how does she know?

She’s been told over and over again that she’s worthless. But knows there’s a price on her body.

She’s been told she’s good for nothing but knows there is a goodness in her.

She’s been told that without “them” she’d never survive. But she knows without her, they would die.

She screams inside. What if the things she knows is a lie. Her life is a lie.

A beautiful girl stolen from hope, from freedom, from life.

Hope.

She hears a Voice in her head and wonders if she’s gone mad.

“You are priceless but not a commodity.

You are valuable but not for sale.”

The Voice is warm and soothing, foreign yet recognizable.

Curled on the cold floor she lifts her heavy head to hear the Voice better. To see if someone is in the room. The presence of this Voice is like nothing she’s heard before yet she knows it.

“You are priceless.

You are valuable.

You are protected.”

She weeps.

Stolen.

Lost.

Afraid.

Hopeless.

“Protected?” She screams!

The Voice whispers, “Have hope.”

She collapses on the floor and laughs.

“Hope.” she says mockingly.

She hoped to be a veterinary as a little girl or a beautiful graceful ballerina.

She snorted, “All I do now is preform for the hungry. Give myself to the selfish.” She weeps, “I didn’t want this.”

The door creaks open to her room and she jumps up in fear and surprise. It’s the man that stole her coming to set her straight for screaming out again. Coming to get his needs met, dress her and take her to work to meet others needs.

The door shuts and she weeps.

“Hope?” She says under her breath and shuts her heart down again to survive what is coming.

She is priceless but not a commodity.

She is valuable but not for sale.

~ ~ ~  

You want a happy ending to this story?

Stop buying sex.

Men AND women it’s time to open our eyes to the world around us. SEX is EVERYWHERE! You pay for it everyday and you probably don’t even realize it. Magazines. Clothes. Beauty products. Car adds. TV shows. Commercials. Sports. Videos. Music. Restaurants. This list is salted with flavors of porn to drive a hunger that needs to be fed more and more to satisfy our emptiness.

We’ve become so numb to the sex shoved in our faces that we promote the very girls we want to help.

Become aware.

The choices you make everyday dictate the life of someone else. YES! You are that powerful! Good or bad.

Ask God to make your mind, eyes and heart so sensitive to everything the enemy is trying to fool you into thinking,“What’s the big deal it’s just a bra. It's just an ad. It's just a TV show. It doesn’t hurt anyone.”

A little girl exploited is a big deal.

You are priceless and not a commodity.

You are valuable and not for sale.

You are worth knowing the truth.

Everyone wants a happy ending to this story. Everyone wants to read she gets rescued and finds freedom and that Hope.

Few ever do.

The millions of children, girls and women trapped in the sex industry without a hope of rescue pray for death. They pray for someone to truly see them and hear their screams and cries. And if they are rescued the scars are so deep it takes years of care, love and heart to have a glimpse of who and Whose they were created to be.

BUT GOD!!!

He hears His children’s cry. He hears their voices and knows their names. He knows the number of fragile hairs upon their precious heads.

He knows.

He IS hope.

You GIVE hope!

Your prayer.

Your awareness of what media and the world is feeding you.

Your desire to volunteer or help ministries and groups that rescue and restore these women’s lives.

YOU can CHANGE the world around you.

YOU can CHANGE the community you live in.

YOU can CHANGE a life.

And if everyone started to CHANGE then the waves become greater and the broken lives can truly believe in hope.

You are called to love powerfully! It’s in you!

Make a difference!

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.” Ephesians 6:12-13

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You Ok?

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You Ok?

You ok?

I haven't seen you or heard from you in a while.

I've heard some things about what's been going on from other people but wanted to ask you directly...

You ok?

I've heard some rumors. 

I've heard some sad things about what you're going through and how much they loved & were praying for you.

I've heard some others say some distorted  things about you & your circumstances, making it sound like they didn't really know or understand in the first place what was going on with you.

So I stopped them in their talking about you & wanted to reach out to you directly.

To check in...

To say, Hey. I love you. You don't have to defend, explain or tell me anything if you don't want to share. I just want you to know I will not listen to others about what they think has happened in your life. I know things may look one way but I know better than to believe what I see before I create thoughts and judgements around those.

I'm pretty sure we all know what it's like for people to think they know all about our circumstances & share it with others & the pain that it causes in us.

I can't imagine how hard it's been for you to walk through so many different changes & the deep pain you must feel.

Loss.

Heartache.

Lack of trust.

And the whole mass of emotions connected to circumstances.

Just remember my friend, you are seen. You are known. You are loved & I believe in you!

Oh. And one more thing, not everyone listens to & entertains rumors. There are some of us that set aside those things and pray and ask directly.

Please know I totally understand if you don't respond to me.

I know it may be hard to trust again but in time you will. God will bring wonderful caring, seeing, loving people around you to remind you of those things.

So I just wanted to reach out for a moment and say hi and that I love you.

Love,

Polly

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Silenced

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Silenced

Shhhhh. Do you hear it?

Pause for a moment. Take a deep breath, lean in  & listen closely.

Do you hear the tears falling?

Do you hear the hearts breaking?

Do you hear the confusion & the anger ringing out from all of humankind?

 

The fear?

 

It's deafening when you really listen.

Everyone yells,

"We can no longer stay silent"

But no one knows how to speak anymore.

Our words get caught in the throats of personal, political & religious agendas.

Our eyes only want to see what our minds have filtered through the ages.

And still. The silence is deafening.

Hate draws on fears to strengthen control & desires for someone else to fix our pains.

When it's been the "someone's" we keep looking to...

That end up causing the most pain.

 

Unity is silenced.

Morality is silenced.

Acceptance is given a distorted voice that opens doors to abuse & even more fear.

 

Our discernments are told to be convinced we are liars & haters and that the only way we can fix things is by people who seem to know better so that they can control us.

But things have not gotten better.

They've gotten worse.

 

Shhhhhh. Do you hear it?

Do you remember what that is?

It's mindfulness & self thought.

Its intelligence & prayer

It's Holy Spirit guiding you to think for yourselves & not be controlled by others.

 

It's love & not hate.

It's truth & not lies.

 

Rage feeds rage.

Hurt feeds anger.

 

And we are all pawns until we say

 

No more.

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Gratitude Through Grieving

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Gratitude Through Grieving

Gratitude grasped through grieving pulls deep from the core of my heart.

It's been difficult to get out of the pain this time. It has come in different waves and several of them have knocked me over.

Like most people I portray this strong vulnerable happy woman, on social media. I portray her because I want everyone to know anyone can make it. Except how can I be a voice to the "You got this!" crowd if no one knows..."Dang it! I don't got this!"

The fear is massive.

The heartbroken pain is nothing I've ever experienced. 

The betrayal.

The questions.

The choices (mine & others).

The loss.

Are all waves that surround and swarm me.

Then gratitude peeks through the frothy waves and for a moment Gods voice is clear.

He sings to me.

He holds me.

He calls to me, "Daughter...I won't let you drown. I want you to grieve. I need you to mourn the losses. I desire for every part of your heart to ache...and in that ache...long for Me, cherished one."

Grief is a temporary emotion to the grace He offers us.

I will choose to be grateful for the... what was, the what is and what is to come.

His extravagant love.

"After you have suffered for little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."

1 Peter 5:10

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