Viewing entries tagged
Hope

Play In The Rain

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Play In The Rain

Tonight I rode my bike to the grocery store.

I carried the cute wicker basket in to go get a couple of things.

I noticed the clouds building in the South but went into the store anyway.

I came out with my things, put the basket back on my bike and undid the lock.

The clouds were above my head and weighted heavy with water.

I mounted my seafoam green cruiser and it began to sprinkle.

As I continued down the path the clouds opened up and a beautiful heavy summer rain poured on me all the way home.

I started to cry tears that matched the droplets of rain.

In the rain your tears are hidden.

I wasn't crying because it was raining on me like a bad luck thing.

I was crying because I felt Gods love pouring on me!

The rain was cool & refreshing!

I hadn't played in the rain in years!

And tonight I was surprised with His love pouring down on me and I got to delight in the rain!

In the next couple of days we are supposed to get rain.

I suggest you go play in it.

Dance

Sing

Laugh

Cry

Jump in the puddles

Play in the rain.

 

I wrote this June 16, 2014. Close to the same evening that I received news that changed the course of my life. God's goodness never wavered and He still pours His love on me and I still play in the rain! 

Always play in the rain!  

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Yes!

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Yes!

Today, on August 24th, 2010, 6 years ago, I said "Yes" to a God calling, to start a ministry that would change the course of my life & others forever!!!

I'm constantly reminded and amazed what a little three letter word has the power and capability to do in our lives!

Thank You, God, for the continuous opportunities to say "YES!" In so many ways!

And thank You for all of the amazing beautiful Cherished Butterflies You allowed me to meet & get to be a part of in their beautiful journey to truly know You.

Today's "Yes" anniversary is a bittersweet one.

Tears flowed with sadness, deep gratitude & joy. 

God...

You are faithful.

You are a protector.

You are a provider.

You are strength!!!

Here's to many more God calling "Yeses"!!!

What's your "Yes"?

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You Ok?

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You Ok?

You ok?

I haven't seen you or heard from you in a while.

I've heard some things about what's been going on from other people but wanted to ask you directly...

You ok?

I've heard some rumors. 

I've heard some sad things about what you're going through and how much they loved & were praying for you.

I've heard some others say some distorted  things about you & your circumstances, making it sound like they didn't really know or understand in the first place what was going on with you.

So I stopped them in their talking about you & wanted to reach out to you directly.

To check in...

To say, Hey. I love you. You don't have to defend, explain or tell me anything if you don't want to share. I just want you to know I will not listen to others about what they think has happened in your life. I know things may look one way but I know better than to believe what I see before I create thoughts and judgements around those.

I'm pretty sure we all know what it's like for people to think they know all about our circumstances & share it with others & the pain that it causes in us.

I can't imagine how hard it's been for you to walk through so many different changes & the deep pain you must feel.

Loss.

Heartache.

Lack of trust.

And the whole mass of emotions connected to circumstances.

Just remember my friend, you are seen. You are known. You are loved & I believe in you!

Oh. And one more thing, not everyone listens to & entertains rumors. There are some of us that set aside those things and pray and ask directly.

Please know I totally understand if you don't respond to me.

I know it may be hard to trust again but in time you will. God will bring wonderful caring, seeing, loving people around you to remind you of those things.

So I just wanted to reach out for a moment and say hi and that I love you.

Love,

Polly

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Silenced

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Silenced

Shhhhh. Do you hear it?

Pause for a moment. Take a deep breath, lean in  & listen closely.

Do you hear the tears falling?

Do you hear the hearts breaking?

Do you hear the confusion & the anger ringing out from all of humankind?

 

The fear?

 

It's deafening when you really listen.

Everyone yells,

"We can no longer stay silent"

But no one knows how to speak anymore.

Our words get caught in the throats of personal, political & religious agendas.

Our eyes only want to see what our minds have filtered through the ages.

And still. The silence is deafening.

Hate draws on fears to strengthen control & desires for someone else to fix our pains.

When it's been the "someone's" we keep looking to...

That end up causing the most pain.

 

Unity is silenced.

Morality is silenced.

Acceptance is given a distorted voice that opens doors to abuse & even more fear.

 

Our discernments are told to be convinced we are liars & haters and that the only way we can fix things is by people who seem to know better so that they can control us.

But things have not gotten better.

They've gotten worse.

 

Shhhhhh. Do you hear it?

Do you remember what that is?

It's mindfulness & self thought.

Its intelligence & prayer

It's Holy Spirit guiding you to think for yourselves & not be controlled by others.

 

It's love & not hate.

It's truth & not lies.

 

Rage feeds rage.

Hurt feeds anger.

 

And we are all pawns until we say

 

No more.

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Not Just Any Tuesday

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Not Just Any Tuesday

Tomorrow is Tuesday, April 12th, 2016. Maybe you are reading this and that day has come and gone like they all do. What’s another Tuesday in the grand scheme of things anyway.

Tuesday for me is not just another Tuesday.

Tomorrow will be a day in which I will celebrate something that didn’t get celebrated the first time when it happened 3 years ago.

Tomorrow will be an emotionally corrective redemptive day!

Tomorrow I will launch my newly revised book, Cherished: Shattered Innocence. Restored Hope.

Three years ago when I “birthed” the first edition it was extremely emotional and weighty. My story was out there for all to read and now I didn’t have control over who read it. February 6th, 2013, 2500 copies of Cherished were delivered to the garage.

OH! MY! GOODNESS!!!

I can’t believe God actually called me to write this book! To share parts of my story that most people would not even share with their closest friends. Yet it was very clear that He had called me to no longer be silent and be a voice for those struggling until they found their own voices.

I was ecstatic! Scared to death! Excited! Worried! And bunches of other emotions that would just take up too many spaces in this blog. I’m sure you get the picture.

There were many wonderful people who were excited for me though.  So it wasn’t like it went unnoticed. I ended up selling almost 2000 copies of this book over time.

Yet, I never had a book launch.

I was going to. But you know, life happens. Expectations become excuses and then you find yourself saying it’s really no big deal. Right?

Some people told me it was a big deal though. And when they would say that to me I would choke up and cry silent tears. I guess it’s like someone having a baby and no one throws a baby shower to celebrate the birth. I wanted to launch it. I wanted to celebrate it. I wanted to get it into every hand possible so each person could maybe find a glimpse of themselves through my story whether we walked the same path or not. That they would see how God deeply, madly loves them and sees them in any situation. And for everyone to know personally that they are Cherished!

Tuesday.

God always keeps writing our stories. These last three years have been some of the most difficult years I have walked through. I have watched the people I love leave, shut down, get sick, betray, move on, struggle, cry and push away. I have laughed, cried ugly tears, feared, worried, gave up and wanted to call it quits. For good.

And then there’s the parts where God loves through His people who lifted me up, encouraged, wouldn’t let me give up, give in, or quit. And it’s through all of those amazing human Angels that got this revised book completed!

And these amazing people and church rallied and said, “Wanna launch your book and speak on Tuesday April12th, 2016?” And I said “YES!” While everything inside of me was screaming “NOOOOO!!! Don’t do it again! It’s only going to cause more pain and hurt just like last time.”

That is a lie!

And even if I do get hurt like I’ve been hurt before or in new ways that I don’t even want to think about…I will know that God will get me through. Because that is WHO HE IS! Always! 

Tuesday!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!!

This TUESDAY we are going to celebrate in a MASSIVE FUN way!!! There will be worship & yummy treats! I'm honored to get to speak and share what God has been putting on my heart & Cherished books will be for sale with a special book launch price!!! ONE NIGHT ONLY!!!

This night will be redemptive! This night, no matter what happens in the future, we will celebrate the launch of Cherished!  

Because of the people at Cross Timbers Church, Simplicity Women's Ministry and all the amazing people God has strategically placed in my life…I am going to get to celebrate with each of you the true definition of story.

Your story. My story.

HIS STORY!

Click photo for details!!!

Click photo for details!!!

Tuesday at Cross Timbers, whether you attend there or not, you will have the opportunity to sign-up for a small group to walk through Cherished! 

Cherished Revised is all about a journey through story to discover your own. After each chapter will be journal prompts and by the time you have finished the book you will have written the foundations of your own Cherished Story.

If you cannot sign-up for a study at Cross Timbers you can lead or create your own! Included is a leaders guide and Cherished Conversations in the back to use as the questions you ask your small group!

Let's CELEBRATE God's goodness!!!!

 

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His Love Abounds

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His Love Abounds

Happy New Year Cherished Friends!!

 

The favor of the Lord reaches deep, far and wide. In all our struggles, temptations, failures, successes & dreams gained/lost...His Spirit longs to fill us with more of His presence.

 

His mercies are new

His grace abounds

His hope penetrates

His love consumes

His joy fills our souls

His love reaches into places that pulls us in or separates us

Yet His allowance for our choices will always refine us

 

A new year helps us reflect, celebrate, cry, hope and recognize His miracles all around us.

 

May He overwhelm you with His captivating peace today and all the days to come.

I pray He settles your fears while you journey through refining.

May fear never overtake you

 

And most importantly

You are not too much for Him.

Give Him all you got!

He never disappoints

 

Happy New Year!

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I Made It! (Mostly)

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I Made It! (Mostly)

I was going to write a blog

'Bout how I can't wait for a new year

I was going to talk about hard things

But got trapped in some fear.

 

Instead I looked for a photo

To show how I mostly survived

Still mending broken bones & heart

But dang it! I'm alive!

 

I'm looking forward to 2016

But not blind to think all's new

Just mindful of a perception of starting over

And God's projecting a new view

 

A view of new beginnings

Marked by a brand new year

Some bones my still be broken

But I am stepping out of fear!

 

Happy New Year Cherished Ones!

Love Extravagantly,

Polly

PollyWright.com

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Lights On!

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Lights On!

 Lights Out

First the lights just flickered a bit. You know, where you hold your breath in anticipation and wait to see what happens. Then BOOM, a few seconds later all the lights went out, and stayed out.

It was 11:30pm and I still wasn’t asleep. I grabbed my phone and turned on its flashlight then cautiously walkedinto the living room. My daughters were not home so the quiet was deafening. I grabbed a lighter and lit a few candles to have some light that was not the blindingflashlight from my phone.

I peeked through the blinds and looked to see that the whole apartment complex was dark. Come to find out it was a huge outage that left 1027 people without powerbecause of equipment failure.

I looked at my phone to see the battery life low and decidedto head to my car to charge it bit just in case I needed it for an emergency. I grabbed my dog, Cowboy, clipped on his leash and headed to my car. Once settled in with phonechargingmy curiosity started to rise. So I put my car in drive and drove around to scope out who else had lost power. I stayed on the back streets due to all of the traffic lights being out because a car accident wouldso not be cool.

Every house and apartment complex werepitch dark.

With my curiosity satisfied I headed back to my parking spot to sit just a bit longer to get a little more charge before going back in to try to sleep.

I saw a flicker from a lighter across the way on someone’s balcony and watched a person light a cigarette. My mind quickly remembered the candles that were in my house still lit. (I know I shouldn’t have left them lit but in my defense they are in protective hurricanes and I NEVER leave them lit when I leave my house.) 

FLASHBACK A WEEK AGO

I have been wrestling for as long as I can remember with a voice that tells me I’m not good enough. I’m the bad guy. I will never be strong enough to care for myself. I’m a quitter. I’m too much. I’m not enough. It tells me I’m not worth fighting for no matter what I do. I can’t complete anything. I’m not chosen.

This voice has and is almost always present speaking words over me that I want to believe are lies but when coupled with anxiety and worry even with my true constraints those words penetrate deeper into my heart and my beliefs. I doubt my worth and myself.

This past week several events took place and the voice became stronger and clearer. Almost swallowing me to have me believe that what God has called me too do wasn’treally His calling for me and I needed to step away.

It was crushing me.

It was darkness.

These past several weeks I’ve been seeking and asking God many questions about who He created me to be. What hasHe truly created me to do? And is that voice someone else’s voice or me?

I kept hearing that it was I. It was I telling me all those horrible drowning lies.

And I asked God to take them away. To remove the voices that silences the truth. And He said I had to hand over the lies to Him. So I did, after hanging tightly to them for many moments, afraid. I handed Him shame, fear, despair, unworthiness and all the others that were consuming me. Each one that I handed Him burned up before me in His presence!

In its place He filled me with His spirit like I had never seen before! It was beautiful, bright and magnificent! I was quite surprised by this so I asked Him, “Lord, I have been saved and thought I received Your Spirit.”He said,“You have but Iam strengthening you more with My love!”

He has shown me so much from my past and present and how He’s protected me in ways I couldn’t see until I asked Him. Yet I was still very frustrated at the voice that was tearing me down that we had commanded to leave in Hisname. And I was allowing it to still tell me those things. I was confused at how I thought I was doing better and was stunned at how a few events made it feel like I was being tackled.

LIGHTS OUT

The spark from the cigarette lighter got me thinking about how many people had lit candles to give them light in the darkness. I began to worry about people falling asleep with lit candles and open flames and thought, I need to pray for protection.

So I started to pray…

Out loud.

“God, please protect all the people….”

LIGHTS ON

LIGHTS! The lights started popping on all over the complex! The electricity was back on!

I sat there in my running car with my mouth hanging open.

What just happened God?

He said, “You were praying for protection in the darkness so I turned the lights on.”

I laughed out loud with joy!

I FELT it! I SAW it!!!

I felt hope! I watched the power of God through prayer come alive!

I was in the dark grasping for light in the dark places and in a moment He reminded me that I am in His powerful light! That no weapon formed against me will prosper! And thevoice that had been pounding me with self-doubt is terrified of what God has put in me and wants to silence me. It almost succeeded. BUT GOD!!!

God said, “Let go of my girl! She’s mine! My daughter! My princess! My warrior! She has hope! She has faith! She has My Spirit in her that is strong and loves extravagantly!”

I woke up this morning with hope. I woke up not hearing the voice of doubt but the voice of Him calling me forth to Him!

I am not a slave to shame, fear and unworthiness.

I am free in Him and full of His loving powerful spirit!

YOU ARE TOO!!!

You are His!

You are His warriors!

He is there fighting for you!

I still had to choose to let go of the fears and crippling unworthiness. I had to hand it over to Him for me to receive more of Him. I had to step out in faith and trust Him. I had to ask Him questions and seek His answers.

I GET to be His daughter and warrior.

Beloved, He’s got you. You are worth fighting for. He will never leave or forsake you.

And even if you pray from what feels like darkness, His Light is there to be turned on brighter than you’ve ever seen before.

Pray out loud!

*Blog written June 22nd 2015  

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Gratitude Through Grieving

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Gratitude Through Grieving

Gratitude grasped through grieving pulls deep from the core of my heart.

It's been difficult to get out of the pain this time. It has come in different waves and several of them have knocked me over.

Like most people I portray this strong vulnerable happy woman, on social media. I portray her because I want everyone to know anyone can make it. Except how can I be a voice to the "You got this!" crowd if no one knows..."Dang it! I don't got this!"

The fear is massive.

The heartbroken pain is nothing I've ever experienced. 

The betrayal.

The questions.

The choices (mine & others).

The loss.

Are all waves that surround and swarm me.

Then gratitude peeks through the frothy waves and for a moment Gods voice is clear.

He sings to me.

He holds me.

He calls to me, "Daughter...I won't let you drown. I want you to grieve. I need you to mourn the losses. I desire for every part of your heart to ache...and in that ache...long for Me, cherished one."

Grief is a temporary emotion to the grace He offers us.

I will choose to be grateful for the... what was, the what is and what is to come.

His extravagant love.

"After you have suffered for little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."

1 Peter 5:10

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Who Knew? (The Dangers of Self-Care)

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Who Knew? (The Dangers of Self-Care)

Cactus

Self-Care Dangers

Ah…it’s the end of the week! You’ve worked you’re rear off and gave everything you had to every bit of life’s little urgencies. Now it’s time for that little thing everyone in social media counseling land is encouraging: take care of your mind, body and spirit. Better known as ”Self-Care”.

Awareness has moved forth in our generation of craziness that one must step back, breathe and care for ones self. Levels of stress may not only be quenched by the overpriced frothy goodness from a chain-coffee-carnival on any given moment of madness. Self-Care is a calling, really. A drive to strive for inner peace and harmony within ones own frantic state of “WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING” life. 

I have taken on the importance of this thing called “Self-Care” only to find I really suck at it. And I’m not the only one! (Thank God!)

Please be aware of the dangers of said “Self-Care” movement.

5 tips to avoid while caring for one-self

(Children, pets and Adults, please do not try these alone at home)

1.    Home Facials.  

I am on a tight budget so I thought I’d be crafty and create my own facial to help pull the impurities of the week out of my oversized struggling dull pores.

Note to self: Before you apply the created facial make sure it has fully cooled after you’ve blended all of the ingredients and cooked in a stainless steal designer pan. The redness you will see on my face this Sunday at church is not the “summer glow” I was going for. I so wish the woman in the self-help video mentioned that temperature mattered.

2.    Mani/Pedi

Now, I’ve had several of these so it’s not like you can go wrong. Right? Wrong! Again, remember, I’m on a budget so I took matters into my own hands! (HAHA! Get it!?)

I gathered my polish remover, cotton balls, a towel to keep from making a mess and a beautiful bright blue polish color to show off my sassy side!

Note to self: Do not leave polish remover lid off while trying to scrub 12 layers of multiple colored polish off your toes. I wonder if I sprinkle the polish remover over all of my rug to get a fun splatter effect?

3.    Do Something New

Alright! This is what I’m talking about! I love trying new things! So I decided I was going to cover a chair that I have with some crazy fun fabric! My girlfriend said she has been using a hot-glue gun to adhere fabric to fabric and the chairs she showed me that she had done that way…let’s just say they’re AH-MAZING!!!

I picked up some fun discounted fabric and pulled out my hot glue gun to create this masterpiece of furniture! Who needs to pay an upholsterer hundreds of dollars when I can save all kinds of money! And care for myself all at the same time!

Note to self: Paint your nails after you upholster chair. Also keep the glue gun on a lower temperature as to not leave pieces of your skin on your newly designed chair. Oh, and just don’t do this one unless you have the supervision of an adult. A very crafty/know what they’re doing adult! Maybe I can donate said chair to the circus.

4.    Do Yoga

Now, I’m a Christian and I believe somewhere in the Christian Handbook for Beginners it says in there that we aren’t supposed to do Yoga cause we don’t want to worship sun-gods in a downward dog position. I read the C.H.F.B book years ago and feel I’ve pretty much graduated to advanced Christian because I’ve led a Bible Study, so I’ll put Jesus worship music on while doing The Warrior III. (I mean, come on! Look at the name! Warrior is in the Bible!)

Note To Self: Just because you’re flexible doesn’t mean you’re in good shape. If you see me at church Sunday please do not make a comment about my awesome new strut. And that pained look on my reddened face probably means I’m praying really hard. (You should be too. Just sayin’.)

5.    Cook A Gourmet Meal

I love to cook! So of course this is going to be relaxing and fun. Yes, I know. I’m on a budget! So I looked up meals to make from ingredients that are already in your home.

Note to Self: Check dates before using them. Oh, and I may not be at church Sunday.

The important things I’ve learned through self-care

A.     When we try to force caring for ourselves and put high expectations on the outcome, it may back-fire slightly.

B.     Self-Care should be something we do on a consistent basis. Then really it’s not just about “self-care” it’s about being mindful of the one body, mind and spirit God gave us and we should be in constant care mode. 

C.     Make sure you stretch before doing Yoga. Which is really confusing because isn’t Yoga essentially stretching?

D.    When we find ourselves completely depleted at the end of a day or week I believe we need to find our peace in God’s Word and presence not in the outside world to care for us.

E.     Food poisoning is not self-care

F.     Get over yourself. When we focus on ourselves ALL the time we narrow our world down to just us. When your source becomes yourself we lose the true Source of life. God longs to touch the hurting places, heal you, nourish you, fuel you, give you life and care deeply for you.

NOW THAT’S CARE!

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