***Warning: Strong language and content***
This past week I walked into the post office to drop off a package to ship. As I walked up to the door a man held it open for me. For a moment I was grateful until I walked past him and he leaned in close enough that I could feel the heat coming off of him on my neck and he whispered something vulgar toward my ear. I turned around shocked and saw he was looking me up and down. I shivered with disgust as I kept walking into the post office. I dropped my package into the container and watched to make sure he was gone before I left the post office for my car.
Us girls have to make sure we take precautions to not get harassed or raped.
This is nothing new to me.
I am 44 years old. I don’t dress provocatively. I don’t dress like I’m “asking for it”, whatever the hell that means. And I don’t flirt with men.
I have been felt up in elevators.
I’ve had white men hug me and reach around and tuck their hand under my breast to get a feel.
I’ve been raped.
I had a black man grab my ass, then proceed to ask me out. When I told him “NO” he called me a racist bitch.
I’ve been sexually abused as a child by men who hijacked my innocence.
I’ve had Hispanic men cat-call toward me like it’s some kind of freaking compliment and get mad at me when I don’t respond.
I’ve been aggressively approached in grocery and convenience stores.
I’ve had well educated men of ALL races brush up against me, touch me inappropriately or speak perverted things to me in all kinds of settings.
I mention the race of the men not because it’s about race and culture but it’s about the sexually aggressive attitudes toward women that do not discriminate. It is not racist to stand up for yourself when someone has been inappropriate. It is not one race or culture yet it seems if you have a penis it gives men a license to be a sexual wild animal.
And there is nothing I can do about it. I can’t call the police or file a sexual harassment charge because I don’t know who these men are. They are just men walking by with no connection to me what so ever.
And please don’t tell me to wear turtle-necks and long denim skirts because it is not my responsibility to control men’s behaviors.
Just last weekend I spoke to a couple of groups in Cleveland OH and I made a statement that there is an epidemic of porn, sex addictions, lust, narcissism, adultery and a constant moral failure amongst all races, sexes and religions. This epidemic isn’t those destructive expressions I just mentioned, the epidemic is the loss of the true identity of who we are created to be.
Both men AND women.
There has been an uproar of vulgar “locker-room” talk lately after tapes of Trump came out about him making lewd comments about grabbing women’s pussys. And Clinton’s husband was impeached because of sexual exposure and rape.
So now we somehow all get up in arms about it when this is nothing new to us women that live with the potential of men’s lack of sexual self-control.
There are thousands upon thousands of women who keep their mouths shut about being sexually harassed and or abused because if they speak nothing happens. They get silenced or shamed and told, “Boys will be boys”. Or “At least you get hit on because you’re pretty.” Or “If you didn’t wear such short skirts or low shirts maybe they wouldn’t say or do those things to you.”
So we stay silent keeping the shameful secrets to ourselves. Always looking over our shoulder in parking lots, elevators, hallways, grocery stores or when someone offers to open a door for you. Scared to say something because we feel unsafe after the constant barrage of harassment.
Men, please, rise up and began to know your true identity. Start seeing yourself through eyes of honor and respect, not pride and selfishness.
I would love to write out wise words of true masculinity and identity but why, when it has been wonderfully written in this blog by Good Women Projectin how some men see and call forth truth, identity and true masculinity.
Please take some time to read this!
I want to say thank you to all the men that have shown me and other women that not all men behave, react or think this way.
Guys, I believe in you. I believe that your heart truly wants to honor women and yourself. I believe that there are many of you out there that aren’t afraid of women and love and treat us as valued human beings.
And women, please don’t stay silent anymore. And stop making excuses for the men that harass you. You’re worth more than that.